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Thursday, January 31, 2013

Immersed: First part

Pananatili by Hangad
device: OpenDrive
A song based on the Book of Ruth 1, 16-17
*no copyright infringement intended


"I was enamored with this song... I made it the rhythm of my 'walk'..."

January 2013 was teeming with promises... We set up early morning meetings, worked out on invitations for article submissions, redesigned our website, prepared our financial statements... 
Our mind is set on being indexed this year (do pray with us)... 

26th of January, one of my Saturdates received the Sacrament of Baptism together with her baby brother...


"I must receive this magic of the passing moment as grace..."
~ Henri Boulad, Ch.2 The Depth of the Present. All is Grace: God and the Mystery of Time. (NY:Crossroad Publishing Company), p. 19.

I was so happy to see the kids at five in the afternoon. My Saturdate, in a beautiful white dress, was giddy with excitement. We went together with her family to the Parish since Arvy and I also had an appointment with the catechist. There were about twenty-five candidates for the Mass Baptism and two for Confirmation.

I felt this was what I/we needed ~ fellowship~ a community to strengthen my/our faith...



Sundays, we get to visit my brother ~ we play, eat and paint 'a lot'... he calls it detoxification... 




And we finally had our house fixed and re-painted...





My weeks were filled with 'to dos,' and I felt I needed some quiet time... seconds, minutes, hours just to be totally immersed in the moment...


"I needed to touch that pool again... 

Do you also feel the need to be bathed in light? feel that sun's warmth? to be lost in a song? a dance? 


...again and again...amidst life's frenetic schedules... 











Thursday, January 17, 2013

Awakening


I tossed and turned in bed all night and couldn't bring myself to pray nor sleep knowing that I've displeased someone...

Last night, he finally took a moment to tell me that I was offending him by not talking to him... 

I've ceased asking him for help because every time I did, he declines...

I was filled with remorse but I refused to cry. 

Then God led me to my heart's softer spots and told me that...

This person made me stronger in a sense... I found my way through life without him...

I learned how to do things by myself ~ I became more creative... I  became a better artist because of him...

I woke up refreshed in the morning and found my way to the train station when suddenly a guy flared up right infront of me... 

I was so piqued I blurted, "You are either a guy or a girl!" I knew that by saying it in English I would've offended him twice...but I immediately caught myself...

Were these remnants of last night's confrontation? Or an anger I've denied for several years?

I closed my eyes and saw several patterns in my life on how I treated men in general. I've always looked down on them...

Perhaps, this is the time to see the 'whys' all these years and finally allow God to take them away...



"Sometimes what you think as an open wound needing to heal --- is God opening you up like an ear to hear Him & obey...

Have you had similar days of awakening? people you've always seen as villains but in reality were God's instruments to bring you closer to yourself?





Thursday, January 10, 2013

Early Retreat: Laying Foundations


"I learned this, at least, by experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours... ~ Henry David Thoreau, Walden 
Source: The Writings of Henry D. Thoreau



I looked at my Vision Board...



I haven't seen it for a while ~ a very long while...until my friend Linda Lee asked me about it a week ago...

While at my brother's house, certain emotions were awakened... My sentiments for having my own family, living in a simple house, having kids were 'again' raised into my consciousness.

While praying, as I described who I'd like to be with ~ I asked God for someone who has the same vision as I ~ my niece laughingly told me that I was looking for a partner in Catechesis more than a boyfriend...

I have romanticized love relationships...






based on what I've watched...

...what I felt...








...what I've read...








... songs I've heard...




I had this only in my head...

...illusions which vanish with emotions once caught up with life's realities...

It sounds funny especially coming from me...but whenever I think of that day I cut my hair and dyed it red immediately after breaking up...Ooo,  I just have to ask myself again the basis of my decisions...



If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. ~ Henry David Thoreau, Walden



I've taken away certain pieces of my VB only to put them back again...  Perhaps, God has other answers that I've been ignoring or putting on hold...

But I did see a small school for kids in my dream... I saw children and I saw angels washing them... Let's see how God wishes this to be...














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Sunday, January 6, 2013

Early Retreat: Closing 2012




I spent time at my brother's house this weekend.

 It was an early retreat... I had time to relish every moment that I had last December before finally closing my diary for 2012...

We continually give thanks to the Lord for all His goodness!

Belle's countdown before December 8, her Communion.


My grandchild's baptism, December 9.

12-12-12 Celebration at Shangri-La and our journal distribution.


Lunch-out with colleagues

Endless gift wrapping and gift giving...

Belle's first hospital experience, December 18-21.

Sophie's visit, December 24.

Healthy food for Christmas 2012

Feast of the Holy Family, 30 December.