Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Epiphany: On Life and Nature

What is my purpose? 

As I sat and reread this draft the nth time ~ I wished a simple Thanksgiving would suffice. My 'peculiar' silence over the last months has again triggered some friends to write me, wondering if I had gone back to the convent...

I just laughed and wrote back. I needed the 'silence' in order "LISTEN."

You Speak by Audrey Assad
source: YouTube

Last, year, while a few blogger friends focused on the word love, I mused on be-ing and becoming a gift.

2013, brimmed with joys and sorrows, left me in awe of God. 

With the dawning of "springtime" in March, the gift of the Sacrament of Reconciliation and conversion slowly unfolded God's surprises.

The grace of starting anew was coupled with the birth of my niece in April. I saw how God smiled.

Her birth was unplanned but I saw how my two nieces lovingly welcomed her presence. 

She threw me off my schedule as my brother asked me for charity to spend time with her on my weekends. 

*Audrey Louise ~ click here to view images via

Come May, a friend I met wrote me in FB and volunteered to journey with me through Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life. The sessions had several demands on sincerity and coming out fully from my shell. I suffered by struggling against it but I heeded in the end. Unmasked, my friend encouraged me to write those pieces of me which were left hanging in the open [My Life as a Nun and Why I Left]. It was a real test of humility. And just like Jesus who manifested Himself to the Magi, the star led me to this friend who was just starting his journey with Christ. 

That opened the door to love ~ the gift of acquiescence through self-revelation. 
That also opened the door for me to accept other people into my life.

June, I defined where my vocation lies... God refined it... 

*Satur--dates ~ click here to view images via

July, Martha Orlando's super squirrel found its way to Twitterland and brought me closer to a spiritual friend [3rd part of this post]~ a rare gift I asked Jesus earlier while I reviewed my 2012 Vision Board.

Around the same time, the Lord granted my prayers for a community. The Lord led me to 
a strong Catholic community in Twitter [#CatholicFollowChain]. 

A few months later, I developed a strong bond with #Eur2015 family 
*#Eur2015 ~ click here to view images via

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." ~ Mark 11, 24

I have visualized myself in other places but the Lord envisioned me in Japan [paraphrasing Linda Lee, my mentor in VB]

August, the gift of trust was developed side-by-side with our work. 

My brother allowed me to "fly" [to trust him] I didn't know I had wings... 

I had a very 'rare' personal encounter with my bosses ~ later on they entrusted me with additional work. Real educators that they are ~ I felt like a plant growing in their hands...

However, with the gifts came several unexpected blows...
Experiences of 'awakening'

With my recurring theme on life also entered sickness and death...

A few days after receiving this SMS, my boss informed me of Mam Mercy's demise...

To her belong these posts I earlier wrote:
Hidden Life

Sometimes, we're so focused on the stories we've heard of other people. The funny thing is it's the negative that sticks in our mind ~ what if we just allow them to share another side of them ~ their giftedness? their own share of holiness? their journey?
Awakening our Soul is dedicated to Sir Lito Tetangco, Executive Director of GODisable International Foundation, Inc.

By September, October and November, several devastating news rocked our country. The storms within the political arena with the exposure of PDAF controversies simultaneously filled the headlines with the Zamboanga crisis.

Not long after, there was a strong quake in Bohol and Cebu. Then came, the worst typhoon ever ~ Yolanda [Haiyan].

It moved our nation to be one and the world to save lives ~ people prayed and shared their goods. We are deeply blessed despite these tragedies but we continue to pray. 

Facciamo memoria. Let us move forward but let us never forget how these painful events have united us.

In the midst of this turmoil, I realized how fragile my parents were becoming. My mom had several instances of vertigo and my dad had a totally worn out left lung. It limited their travels abroad and 'our' trips here [my dad begged off to drive for long hours].

How short life really is....

Our own bodies could betray us ~ with sickness... 

MidNovember, we received news...

a person whom we love and admire for her passion and dedication for medical service became sick...

I saw in her courage and deep gratitude for life.

All these happened in the great Year of Faith. 

With the 'idea' of becoming a gift... I was led instead by God to a special journey to re-learn things...

~ to love Him in the form of an infant ~ and cater to His needs...


~ to receive gifts humbly from Him ~ to allow myself to be loved by Him 

~ His way...

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Epiphany in Three Parts

"Human beings have an innate restlessness for God, 
this restlessness is a participation in God's own restlessness for us." 
~ Pope Benedict, Homily for Epiphany 2013 

The Creation of Adam by Michelangelo *detail of hands
First part
On the twelfth day of Christmas, I opened the gift my spiritual friend sent me at the beginning of the year ~ his gift of poetry and revelation.

I see you .... 
Your gaze is upon me. 
You desire to consume me, you pursue me  

Do you really love me this much? 

     I'd like to stay right where you are 
     There, where I can be so near 
     consumed by the fire of your love 
     Like a fragrant incense, a lamp burning forever at your side  
I wish the world would know 
How much you thirst for them 
The Beloved to His beloved 
The Lover to his beloved. 
The Creator to his creation. 

     Beloved whom I love 
     Here take my heart, it is yours  
     I receive you, I breathe you  
     consume me day and night 
     Rest my heart within your heart 
stay with me i beg you  
Be a presence i implore you 
hide not from me anymore 
Take me now ... Take me now. 
Wrap me with your arms  
consume me with your love.  
     Unite my heart with Yours 
     let not my heart wander again  
     Let it rest in your love in your heart 
     Now and for eternity  
     My Lord, my Savior, my God.

~Daniel Bugnini, 1 January 2014~

He gave me the liberty of choosing its title ~ but I would like to open the possibility to all my readers who read this the first time... what title would you give it?