Sunday, February 2, 2014

Epiphany Part 3: On Love [Story of the Bride, the Bridegroom and the Bridegroom's Friend]

*Note: Quotes in pink ink from Leslie Ludy

When the Lord closed the door to the life I’ve come to know for ten years as a religious… 
I had mixed emotions over what was ahead of me…

I have always prayed for a true and lasting love for myself...
Photo Credit: google
The Bride and the Bridegroom

I have come to know Jesus since I was three and have decided to be with Him when I turned thirteen. I thought of serving people as a nurse and as religious missionary ~ taking care of people's body and soul ... but Jesus desired more than that...

I romanticized it all ~ ‘charity,’ ‘poverty,’ ‘life inside the walls,’ ‘prayer’ and ‘perfection,’ ‘community life’ and ‘apostolate.’ The Lord wanted my ‘heart’ and I felt I couldn’t give it all yet despite efficiency in service and length of years living with Him.

Given the opportunity to ‘grow’ more outside, I felt that a part of me died when I left but the seed of hope was replanted in the presence of my mother.

I 'thought' the next best thing for me was to marry. Looking back at how my relationship with Sam started and ended ~ I always had this feeling that I have scared him away with ‘commitment.’ Talking it over the table with my mom the other day… for two years, I have played deaf to their prayers until circumstances proved right that it was not him

                               “You continue to get your heart broken 
                            because you are holding the pen of your life 
                                and trying to write your own story.

                             I am the Author of true love. 
                            I am the Creator of romance."

Last year, I had an unusual encounter with the Lord through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I felt Jesus knocking again and asking for my ‘heart.’

                                          I know your heart’s every desire.

He sent me a spiritual friend... 

photo credit: Google via my spiritual friend
I want to script a beautiful tale just for you, 
but first you must give the pen to Me. 

I received His gift... 

You must let Me become the center of Your existence. 
You must let me have total control of your love life 
and every other area of your life as well.” 

~Leslie Ludy, When God Writes Your Love Story~

It was a journey of discovery and adventure into the depths of the Lord's heart as I took my spiritual friend's hand. I re-lived my 'novitiate' days for six months as he 'accompanied' me in prayer, reflection and most of all, in love...

I gave the Lord my Memoirs… I was ready for the new chapter. 

"Whatever souls [and HEARTS] are made of,
his and mine are the same."
~ Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

photo credit: Google

to be continued...